At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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