i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize