Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
