I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
