How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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