it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
