It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
