I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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