Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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