its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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