oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
