well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
