I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
