Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
