He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
