Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
