Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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