He disabled his match.com account in front of me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
