HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
