I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
