Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
