what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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