So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
