in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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