What a fucking waste of an outfit
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
