hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
