I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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