you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
