Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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