i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
