I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
