My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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