I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
