so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
