My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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