Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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