tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
