do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
