sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
