Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
being pregnant is like rehab
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
