my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We are all done wearing pants today
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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