Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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