OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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