I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize