dude i'm inner monologue high
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We left the knife in your bed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
