Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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