i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
