I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
