You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
