I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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