I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
