So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
