Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
