That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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