How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the day after is always just damage control
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
