I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
