Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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