Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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