I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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