You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
wow bdsm is so cute
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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