Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
