It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
