So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
