My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
