I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
