I showed him my bush... on skype.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
