READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
