I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize