She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
